Microwaved Chicken Salad

• All the stuff you hate on a strangers food blog

  It’s about 7:30PM and you’ve had nothing to eat but fried chicken, bagels, and tuna sandwiches for the last three days. Your body is begging for vegetables.

  Simultaneously, you had planned on being a good boy and eating some grilled chicken earlier in the week. So you took that sad chicken breast out of the freezer.

  Bam. Worlds collide. You need to come down slow off the fast food binge and that chicken in the fridge is on the highway to the dumpster-zone.

  I put the chicken breast in that OG Wishbone Italian Dressing for a few hours. Hit the “Chicken” button on the microwave and went to take a shower.

  This chicken had no business not sucking. I mean it was white, there wasn’t any like crunchy maillard bits to be found. But it was what poached chicken hopes to be and took less than 10 minutes.

  PS - i tried to find a youtube about how sensor cooking in a microwave works but couldn’t find anything, so if you know… holla atcha boy.

• Ingredients

  • a sad, defrosted, chicken breast

  • Wishbone Italian Dressing

  • romaine

  • shredded carrots

  • shredded red cabbage

  • toasted acorn squash seeds

  • chow mein noodles

• Process

  1. Marinate the chicken breast in italian dressing. I did 2 hours but over night would be better.

  2. Chicken, covered, in a bowl with the dressing, in the microwave and hit the chicken button if you have one. If you don’t… upgrade.

  3. After it beeps let it sit in there while you assemble a salad.

  4. Did you let the chicken rest for at least 15 minutes? you need to. Not 3 minutes, no no, set a timer you hungry beast, it’s worth it.

  5. Slice against the grain and put it on your salad.

  6. Take a picture before you smother it all in ranch dressing.